THE PLIGHT OF "Capra hymena" PART II: HOW NOW SHALL THEY BE PRESERVED?

In reaction to my save a capra mymena awareness campaign; I have faced relentless attacks from poachers, collectors and some degoatees. One particular degoatee (I presume) sent me a text exclaiming that “the practice of goat keeping is not only archaic but also primitive and has no place in modern society.” I would therefore like to take this opportunity to share with you the rationale for my campaign.

For starters; if you are a believer, I would like to remind you that goat keeping was the very first commandment God gave to man in the Garden of Eden; long before the Ten Commandments. And when Eve let her goat be slain against that apple tree, the Lord pronounced curses upon the degoatee and the slayer.

Secondly, all civilized nations have laws in place to protect these fragile animals.

Section 129(1) of the Uganda Penal code Act CAP 120 states that “Any person who unlawfully slays a capra hmena whose bearer is under the age of eighteen years commits an offence and is liable to suffer death.”

Section 129(2) also warrants a life sentence for just an attempt to slit this innocent creature. Unfortunately, not even these stringent laws have deterred these callous hunters.

Growing up; most goat keepers have a picture of a perfect degoating ceremony (considered to be the ultimate gift to their bridegrooms), the preparation of the altar—the scented candles and rose petals – and that gentle slayer. Unfortunately, many of these ill-fated keepers have ended up losing their animals on their way from the well and many on classroom desks: Meanwhile, others have “taken matters into their own hands” and gruesomely ripped their own does to pieces.

Allow me therefore to bring to your attention the 5 sacred commandments in relation to safe goat keeping

1- Thou shall love, treasure and cherish thine goat with all thine mind, heart and soul.

2- Thou shall not kill thine goat or feed it on “awkwardly shaped vegetables”, plastics and rubber.

3- Thou shall be conscious of thine nannies while climbing tree, riding bicycles, sitting on boda bodas and jigging the sukuma sms dance.

4- Thou shall vigorously fight for and protect thine goat from thy own disturbed father, retarded uncle and pastor/priest.

5- If thou shall be unfortunate as to lose thine animal under any of the above circumstances, then thou shall beseech thine senga to fix thee a makeshift decoy of a new capra hymena.

Read Part I here.

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