THE SOCIAL NETWORK WHORE!

I’m a facebook guy, but lately there is this buzz about twitter. I must admit twitter is cool, it’s like “the in thing,” the myspace of 2008 or hi5 of 2005. Everywhere: In movies, reality shows, news and the internet, twitter seems to be getting more coverage than facebook; so as expected, people are getting agitated. Apparently the twitter frenzy has insidiously crept into my facebook friends list. I have already lost two really cool people to this infernal and I guess a bunch of losers that I wouldn’t care to notice.
 
I must confess I’ve been a social (not sexual) network whore myself, if you googled my name you would find results from ICQ, hi5, myspace, facebook, hootsuite and others I don’t recall. Eh eh, now this lemur is opening a new tab to google my name..hi..hi. But its cool, feel free, you may actually discover new exciting sites like seehersquirt.net. Yes, I’m that dumb, I use my real names for every site I visit.
 
So where was i? The losers who have completely migrated from facebook….no, I said I have no time for those ones. My problem is with the irresolute wusses who continuously irk us with updates like “bye bye facebook, if you need me follow me on twitter @prettygirlswag byakoze bitya but then they never leave. Mutukooya!
 
What happens is that they open up a twitter account; which is the easy part, then they start staring at their lifeless account as it stairs right back at them. They proceed to follow all the Kardashians, Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Justine Bieber; after all they don’t have to accept your request to follow them, but still twitter is far short of the fun they thought they would find here. After two weeks of following 76 celebrities they only have 4 followers, 3 of whom are from the other bunch of invisible losers I talked about earlier and 1 illegal migrant; a Mexican who moved to America in pursuit of the elusive American dream.
 
Now this wuss thinks of a brilliant idea of showing how cool shit is on the other side and that is by strutting their stolen tweets and making sure we see them here on facebook. You know that thingie where you update your status or tweet or whatever on just one site (like hootsuite for example) them it appears on facebook, MySpace and twitter accounts? Yes that’s how. Oba tobimanyi naawe tonkooya!
 
Ok that may be a smart move on your side because for a moment you can create the illusion that you have become way cooler in the last three weeks. But just get this one thing right; For crying out loud your bu grating updates don’t really mean much to us, unlike down there at your hostel in Kikoni (I’m yet to find out how) and your random mexicunt followers; over here we don’t really know or care what the senate is saying about Obama’s birth control policy so please tuyambe!
 
 
But I have an idea, why don’t you just make up your tottering mind and GTFO already or stick to the only life you have? You have built a congregation here amigo. For once you have something going for you, 1322 friends and still accepting more requests. It’s no big deal you only know 64 of them, kasta they all worship you; for your cute cousin’s photo you use as your profile picture at least. But here you have a real shot to fame, the closest you can ever get; you just type four letters *Y-A-W-N* and you get 13 likes. If I were you I wouldn’t try to get ahead of yourself.
 
But since you have decided to go; shoo…shoo.., and when you go please real go, we don’t need to keep up with your activity on twitter. And stop wailing for us to follow you mbu banage I’m going follow me.

 

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