Month: June 2012

Coming of age chronicles2 Comments

Coming of Age Chronicles Pt II: The flogging

Balamaga

With just a duvet to fend off mosquitoes and the late night cold, Alex had taken his turn on the couch lightheartedly. Ever since his break up two months ago, his dejected brother Ely had been hesitant to catch a rebound; but when he finally came home with a snack, Alex was quick to decamped the bedroom for the refugees’ lair. About 2 am, Alex was startled by the rattling of the front door. First he thought it was Jasper—the neighbor’s dog—hosting a shindig on the wrong porch again, but as he looked longer and more intently, something in the … Continue reading Coming of Age Chronicles Pt II: The flogging

Plan B1 Comment

Vendors’ Code of Conduct

Balamaga

You are seated in a taxi back to Ntinda. You’re listening to The Fray’s new album as you go through your facebook notifications; generally relaxed and feeling cooler-than-thou. Suddenly, this guy appears out of nowhere, brandishing a cocktail of metal and rubber, things that are shaped like watches. You have no intentions of buying, but one of them is a shocking replica of the Rolex on your wrist so you find yourself squint at it. Deftly, he snaps it out of the bunch and tosses it onto your lap. You make mistake #2 and pick it up—mistake #1 having been … Continue reading Vendors’ Code of Conduct

Plan B7 Comments

The Boda-boda Code of Conduct

Balamaga

Boda-bodas are supposed to be the most convenient means of transport in our muddled town, but what if by some ill fate you find yourself with the most uncouth cyclist? I remember this like it was yesterday, mostly because it was yesterday. I left work late after a long day; so weary to sit through that irking Bwaise jam, so predictably, a boda was my preferred means of transport home. Now, I know this is a perfectly natural activity, everyone including “the boss lady” partakes of it; but it is inexcusable to relax your sphincter muscles for relief ten inches … Continue reading The Boda-boda Code of Conduct

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The Elegant Ruminator’s Guide.

Balamaga

I love eating. We all do, not just because we are hungry, but mostly for the scrumptious taste of that chicken sandwich or bacon pizza in your mouth. Unfortunately, you can never have enough of these delicacies; you may not afford to. Not unless your body is gifted with the special ability to induce simultaneous compression and relaxation with increased intra-abdominal pressure so as to distend morsels of that pizza for a remix at no extra cost.Now I know that after categorizing animals as ruminant/non-ruminant, your science class teacher forgot to mention that certain humans are gifted with the special ability to recycle food. Yes! … Continue reading The Elegant Ruminator’s Guide.

Coming of age chronicles2 Comments

Coming of age Chronicles Part I: The discovery

Balamaga

It was your typical shiny afternoon, around 1pm. He was leaving Buganda Road Library where he had spent two weeks of his second term holiday in preparation for his mock exams. In his right hand, he clenched two one thousand notes; it was his lunch money, only that he wasn’t going to spend it on katogo as usual. He had a different plan for it that day, a ‘diabolical’ plan he had been mulling over for the past week, and this time he was determined to execute it. With a grave face and ostrich strides—as if someone was going to … Continue reading Coming of age Chronicles Part I: The discovery