Sisqo Unleashes a Little Dragon to a Little Crowd (Concert Review)

We all heard the gloomy predictions of a show that would set records on the Ugandan sucking meter. These predictions came to pass, organizers made huge losses and sausage vendors cursing themselves for being so naive. This is how it all started.

One day, Cee Cee Entertainment and Skata Records conceived an idea to fleece Ugandans by foisting on them an artiste that less than 5 percent of them used to know ten years ago. In their ingenuity, they considered the success of R. Kelly’s show and assumed that Ugandans love old school music. They thusly bundled Mark Althaveans Andrews a.k.a Sisqo into a plane, and Saturday happened.

Saturday 25th August and Kyadondo Rugby Grounds was confirmed as the day and place of what would later turn out to be the biggest disaster of the year. To grease up the arrangements, they teamed up with Silk Events, and a couple of gullible sponsors. They also attempted to embellish their grand plan with a lineup of acclaimed crowd pullers like Chameleone, Bobi Wine, Jackie Chandiru and Fuze of Azonto fame as curtain raisers for the concert.

The concert that was advertised to kick off at 7:00pm did not start until 9:00pm. By then I’d served three hours of unlawful detention [having been told that if I got out I’d have to to buy another ticket to get back in]. Holding my face in my hands, I sat regretting my stupid move of checking in at 6:00 pm so I could review the scene before the place got crowded. But having been bounced from one security guard to another, each of them giving me the ridiculous my-hands-are-tied shrug, I swallowed my irritation and miserably settled in amongst the people in green T-shirts labeled Silk events, the vendors in blue giving out free UTL lines, and the hundreds of people dressed in police uniforms roaming the ground.

Having realized that the crowd may not get any much bigger than the handful that loitered around the show ground like stray white ants in a house, the organizers decided to finally raise the curtains at 9 pm with Young Mulo [yes, there is a Ugandan artiste that goes by that name, and no I’d also never heard of him until yesterday], followed by Leila Kayondo and AK 47. In the intervals, Idiringi a.k.a Salvador the standup comedian [the lead MC] tried to keep the little crowd of 15 [as he once referred to it] entertained with snarky jokes about the miserable turn up.

At around 10 pm, Bobi wine hopped onto the stage and I expected to hear louder screams considering the overflow he attracted earlier this year during his show down with Bebe Cool at the same venue. But requests coming from the audience for abantu bakoowu [a song by Mathias Walukaga that expresses exasperation of the masses] suggested a different reception.

Jackie Chandiru and Chameleone were however welcomed and sent off with applause. DJ Shiru also did a proficient job at the turntable and the Ghanaian guest artiste Fuse ODG tried to get some people grooving to his Azonto dance. However, all the wonderful artiste’s efforts didn’t seem much more than flogging a dead horse. Things are just not the same when you go for an “international star’s” concert expecting an epic show (okay I also wonder who would have such unrealistic expectations) but find a small cluster of people as if in place to gawk at a bicycle accident scene. The concert was just predestined for doom.

Even when Sisqo finally took the stage at half past midnight, the poor man put up a better performance than I want to admit (owing to the unlawful detention that I was subjected to consequently crippling my already biased attitude). But after he had unleashed the dragon; while he was still sampling us with a few songs from his upcoming album that I honestly don’t care to remember, the sky gods came to our rescue and took a leak on Sisqo’s parade.

Left with no better options, to his relief I contend because come on, dude had already been paid, dragon master wrapped up his 30 minutes performance with his thong song. To crown the show “rock star style”, he took off his shirt and dropped it on the stage -because it was expensive I guess. He then took off his vest and threw it at whoever cared to grab it -because it was cheap I bet. He then picked up his shirt and bobbed off the stage like the star he once was.

Written for proggie


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