New Year’s Message from the Lord; He’s not Amused.

Last night I had a dream, sort of a vision. The Lord (I’m pretty sure it was Him) came to me, in my sleep, and took me by the hand to walk me through church serives. He showed me what he described as a tragedy that has been recurring around this period over the years. With the way He ranted, the Almighty sounded really pissed that at some point curse words slipped off his tongue (even me I was left in shock). A series of  jaded and hackneyed rhetoric seemed to irk Him most.

He said, rather lividly,

“If I struck a church with lightning every time a preacher lied in my name with these phrases, there would be more Baha’i temples than churches left in this world.

 “This is the year that the Lord has made, the year of the Lord’s favor.”

First off, I have never been in the business of making years and I don’t intend to start with 2013. Where I come from, there is neither time nor years, those are man’s own dimensions. And if I wanted to create any form of association with them, I would have started by renaming at least five months of your secular calendar that were named after Roman gods and goddesses.

Secondly, where the fuck do these people get this shit from? But even more appalling, how dumb have my people become? How does someone coax you with the same lie year in year out? If you didn’t experience the so-called favor last year and the year before, what makes you think things will be different this year?

wtf
I mean, who falls for the same tired gimmicks all the time? These bastards are just scheming to fleece you.

When I called you my sheep, I meant that figuratively, you don’t have to act as such. I will favor those I choose to when I please. Don’t be deceived, I work according to my own calender.

It’s so freakin’ annoying when I keep being quoted out of context. When i told Jeremiah that;

‘I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

That message was specific to my chosen people, the ones I’d exiled in Babylon because they’d pissed me off–just like these fucktards who keep lying in my name. It didn’t have anything to do with a new year, if anything, this prophesy was to come true after 70 years of Babylonian rule. But these lazy bastards are twisting my words to lie to my people with similar scriptures. They snatch a snippet out of my word and play with it to contrive a far fetched interpretation that will further their illicit motives.

(i) ‘Behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.’ (Isaiah 65:17)

(ii) ‘And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.’ (Revelation 21:5.)

(iii) ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here.’ (2 Corinthians 5:17)

(iv) ‘Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.’ (Isaiah 43:19)

(v) ‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ (Revelation 21:14)

I beseech thee, go speak to my people, tell them that I, the Lord their Gawd has sent you to set the record straight. The above scriptures have absolutely nothing to do with new years, warn them against being duped by blithering scumbags who are already rummaging through recycle bins for end and beginning of year sermons.”

Thus sayth the Lord.

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