How not to spend money you haven’t received

There is a reason the people of those days advised against counting your chicks before they hatched, which reason is hinged on the very likely possibility that you will be disappointed.

Never, I repeat, NEVER count on money you haven’t received, more so money that you expect from those transactions we like to call “deals”. The kind that come quickly and if you’re lucky you could fleece more money from the transaction than your annual gross income. A deal whose money you haven’t caressed, however promising it maybe, should never find its way on your budget. If it’s deal money, you don’t have it until you have it. Remain yourself, don’t get cocky, and don’t go on a splurge, ordering Cafe Bravo club sandwiches for lunch, taking bodas where you normally walk, depleting your saving in hope for money you haven’t received. Don’t even tell people about it, they’ll start asking for loans and you’ll lose yourself into negotiations of terms of repayment.

“But you, I don’t know about your credit worthiness.” You may say.

“First bring your laptop as security for my money then we talk,” money you don’t have, the money you may ever receive. It is tempting but please don’t lose sleep budgeting for such money. Somehow, one of the signatories to such transactions tends to get stuck in Gulu and the transaction that was meant to be concluded on Saturday gets postponed to Monday, then Tuesday and before you know it you’re working with an indefinite date.

If you’re lucky you’ll not be left with any debts, you can also opt to ignore the calls from those guys of “Buy from USA receive in Uganda” with whom you’d ordered the 10.1 Samsung Galaxy Tab. But what will you tell your housemate who just gave away the only cooking apparatus in the house to his kid sister at campus on the assurance that you were going to pimp up the kitchen?

“I don’t know if we’ll need that gas thingie anymore when I bring the 54cm Freestanding Electric Twin Cavity Cooker this weekend.” You may have said while kicking the gas thingie even.

“The fuck are you mumbling about?”

“Didn’t you hear cooker? I am bringing a cooker this Sato, I’m thinking white will match the fridge. But I don’t know, where will the coffee machine go? I hate that this house has suck a small kitchen.”

“Dude, we don’t even take coffee.”

“Speak for yourself, my visitors do. We just didn’t have a coffee machine. I heard the neighbors on our right were moving, we could take their house. It’s bigger and fully furnished.”

“Yeah, but they also pay in dollars.”

“You make that sound like Ug shillings can’t be converted into dollars.”

“Well, you go. But I am not following you.”

Limit those things of planning and budgeting strictly to your humble salary because chances are that 90% of the deals that are going to come your way are going to flop.

Me I have told you!

 

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One thought on “How not to spend money you haven’t received

  1. He he he he. Very true and well said Rodgers! Been a victim of budgeting for what I don’t have a couple of times, but I’ve since learnt to only rely on what I have, not what am expecting…

    Like

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