Dear MTN UG

Dear MTN UG,

Even though I don’t remember buying your airtime more than twice in the last 10 months, I must confess, it’s still quite hard for me to throw away a line I’ve used for the last 8 years or so. But thanks to this not so smart dual line Nokia phone I carry, I don’t need to walk around with two phones when I can preset my Orange SIM card to make my calls, send my messages and meet my packet data needs while your line receives the calls from the people who are too rigid to adjust to my new line.

I appreciate that you give me 10 free MBs every first week of the month. They are not much, but they do come in handy if they find when I haven’t yet renewed my Super Combo subscription. I also like that in spite of the fact that I relegated your line to only receiving calls, you don’t charge me for the service, though we both know that you make money off every call I receive on your line, which money you will lose when I get around to completely ditching your line.

What I don’t appreciate though, are these messages you keep pelting me with, especially the ones where you offer—and presumptuously so—to find me cool and stylish friends who would blow my mind and keep me guess.

Umm....no thank you, keep me guessing? Tsk tsk.
Umm….no thank you, keep me guessing? Tsk tsk.

If I must remind you, it is bogus messages like these that brought on this rickety relationship we have at the moment. The relentless phony calls that kept coming in from three digit numbers, the same numbers from which came the cheesy messages drawing my attention to beautiful girls desperately waiting for my call.

I don't want your friends, leave me alone.
I don’t want your friends, leave me alone.

I didn’t mind these very much until you started charging me for these messages. It didn’t even matter to you that I kept ignoring them, but you unilaterally decided to occasionally snatch 800/= worth of my airtime.

Seriously, who comes up with this shit?
Seriously, who comes up with this shit?

I thought we were through this, I honestly did. That after this so many months break it was safe for me to load airtime on your line. But alas, I just loaded 1000/= to make a call and now I see 200/=, accompanied with a message notifying me that my subscription to your stupid service has been renewed. Who asked for this? How fair is that you charge me for an undesirable service you foisted on me? What makes you think I am in need of this service anyway? And even if I was searching, so desperately that I would consider doing it through your medium, why would I trust you to know my definition of “cool” and “stylish”, that if I dialed one of the “potential partners” a 15 year old S2 girl in Nafekatugezeko High School won’t pick up on the other end of the line, or the 35 year old house maid back in my home village?

8
From the way you punctuate your messages, I can only imagine the friends you promise.

I complained again, for the 70th time, and I was assured my number would be scrapped off this fuckin’ blast list. I am not asking for much, just some peace of mind, please stop spamming me, I am not interested in your friends.

Disgruntled customer.

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3 thoughts on “Dear MTN UG

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